


Broken Pieces

by Kraehenhexe



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Reality, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, F/M, Genderbending, Heavy Drinking, One-Sided Relationship, Physical Abuse, Suicide, partially a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kraehenhexe/pseuds/Kraehenhexe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just because there is sincerity behind your words, doesn't mean that they are true." AU, character death.<br/>Contains fem!Tidus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy X (other than my PS2 disc) or the song 'Reaching Out'. All rights go to their respective owners, I only use them for my own entertainment.
> 
> The song I used originally for this one-shot is "Reaching Out" by M-Diva. For the re-written version, I chose "Pieces" by Red.
> 
> A sort-of AU fic where Tidus is a girl and manages to score an intimate relationship with her guardian, Auron. But her constant trouble-making and their shared drinking problems come to pass with a world of hurt. If suicide, physical abuse, or brief vulgarity upsets you, please don't continue. It's not as graphic as it could be, but it's still out there.  
> Ack, no matter what I do, I can't write a decent romance fic without a boatload of angst, feels, or character death.  
> I have a problem. c:

Rain poured from the thick, heavy grey clouds that hung over the glowing city of Zanarkand, drenching anyone unfortunate to be strolling around on such a dreary night to the bone in a matter of minutes. People ran to take shelter from the storm, and whispers of rogue waves circled the community. The probability was high, but they knew their beloved city could withstand the threat of the ocean and the thundering downpour as she had many times before. The wet made the cobblestone streets slick with trash and mud all the same, shaping the roadway into a treacherous area to cross. But even as the rain pounded against the metal city, crashing against window panes and blowing up quite a gale, the gloomy setting did nothing to deter the cheery atmosphere in one of Zanarkand's most prominent bars, the Red Lagoon. Sailors and city folk alike came to the bustling joint for the same reasons; to catch up with old friends, to share wild stories, to issue a game of cards, and to drink.

Tidus herself had sat atop a stool in that same tavern not minutes ago. Never one to ere on the side of caution, she had come to the bar with her fellow Abes, taking up a round of drinks for their table in celebration of their most recent victory. One glass led to four, and she found herself floating on a pleasant cloud of nothingness as the alcohol addled her thoughts. The hours passed and she eventually worked up to the point of leaving, ignoring the helpful hands as she stumbled out the thick wooden door and onto the sidewalk. The storm had been brewing before she had gone inside the bar, thick with tension and the not-so-ominous foretelling of rainfall; and she stood now in the full force of nature, heart giddy and a skip in her step despite the slippery walkway and the cold water that bit at her exposed skin. Her uniform was soaked through, and in a bout of slow confusion did she realize that and set off in the direction of the shipyard.

The trek back was far more dangerous than she actually noticed, but her spirits were too high to care. She tripped and fell over and over again as she gradually made her way to the familiar wooden docks, the planks creaking under her every step in a creaky greeting. The sounds of the storm were a dull roar in her ears, the slanting rain that struck her face gentle, cold kisses of wetness. She lurched forward on unsteady legs and crossed the gangplank at the end of the pier, a silly smile plastering itself to her face when her soggy shoes touched the front steps to her boathouse. Auron was waiting inside, no doubt going to be a party-pooper and lecture her on the inconveniences of underage drinking. She had dealt her fair share of hangovers just the same and took his words in stride, waving them off with her obvious 'experience' in the land of beer and hard liquor to back her up.

She absently flapped her hands in accordance with her mindset, her eyelids drooping in relief at the lantern swaying in the gusting wind. It was her and Auron's unspoken word when she went out late: if the lantern was alight, she could come in the front door and he'd be there, sitting on the couch, ready for her to slip inside. If it was snuffed, it meant he had turned in for the night and she had to find another way into the boathouse - her common route was around the stern, where she always kept her window unlocked should she need to come inside without waking her guardian. Even still, he'd stand in the kitchen the next morning, offering her a cup of tea and some painkillers as he berated her for doing something so foolish. She would, of course, counteract with her own snarky response about how she was a teenager and had to do things with her life. He would sigh and shake his head, but his disappointment rolled right over her head and a month later, they would find themselves in the situation yet again.

A fierce burst of wind rocked her almost off her feet, dragging her scattered mind back into semi-consciousness. She didn't remember taking hold of the door handle or slipping not very casually into the main room. She didn't remember flashing Auron a toothy grin and slurring her happy "Hey!", nor did she remember the man who had stayed with her for ten years ever having such a reaction to her entrance. Tidus didn't recognize the dark look on his face, misinterpreting it for annoyance that she broke curfew yet again. She didn't see the spark in his eyes as she began stripping herself of her wet clothing, going down to her underclothes and leaving her blitzball uniform in a heap by the door. She didn't catch the warning in his glare as she stepped over the threshold, her arms lazily outstretched as if she were going to pull the man into an embrace. She did remember - with unsurprising clarity - the words and actions he had acted upon thereafter.

His speech was muddled in her fuzzy brain, but the emotion in the words was all too clear. Distinctly she recalled him calling her a whore - who did she sleep with when she hadn't even given herself up to him yet? - and saying a plethora of cruel things she didn't dare to think too hard about. Each carefully chosen insult was a knife in her ribs, twisting and tearing her open until she was bare for all to see. When she looked up at him, her blue eyes shining with unbidden, confused tears, his own were cold and harsh. Thunder shook the small houseboat, an electric current forcing the lights to blink out as one for several loud moments before coming alive with a sharp hiss. As though he was timing himself with the escalating stormfront, the man struck with impossible force.

Tidus couldn't figure out what was happening fast enough. Her mind drew a blank before resurfacing, her vision hazy and dragging in and out of focus. No longer was it the alcohol affecting her senses; she was on the ground in a tight ball, arms moving too sluggishly to protect her head. With each blow he landed, be it the kicks to her stomach and legs, or the punches and stomps to her neck and skull, her body jerked away of its own accord. It flinched back from the pain Auron - _lover mentor guardian_ \- inflicted, her lips opening in muffled cries and gasps as the precision behind each assault rang true. All the while he spat and simmered, growling out obscenities that fell dimly on her ears. The soles and toes of his boots were slowly staining themselves darker with the clumps that stuck to them insistently, making soft sucking noises when his feet would leave the floor.

A lull in the attacks left ample opportunity for the teenager to gingerly roll onto her hurt side, sitting up quickly - oh, her head swam so wonderfully at that - and scooting backwards until her back touched the door. Her right eye was swollen shut and her tangled bangs pressed against her slick skin. When she touched her forehead, sticky red followed and clung to strands of her dirty blonde hair, dying it rustic maroon. She stared up at him stupidly, eye wide as she looked between the blood on her hands and the towering mountain of a man above her. She didn't think twice when he stepped far into her personal space again; she fumbled with the doorknob - the fluid on her fingers made it hard to get a grip - and threw the door open behind her, crawling backwards on her hands and feet in an awkward jumble of limbs to defy his advancement. She didn't notice the rain mixing in with her blood, light red rivers cascading down her body. She didn't care when it ran into her eye, obscuring her sight and forcing her to lose her hold on the slippery wood beneath her. When Auron reached forward as if to drag her back into the boathouse, she didn't hesitate. She turned and fled down the docks, bare feet catching in the mud and grime and sending her sprawling to the ground more than once. But she didn't look back to see where he was, where he might be.

_Standing naked in the rain_  
 _Knowing things will never be the same_  
 _On and on and on again_  
 _Trying hard to find the words to say_

Tidus ran. She ran and ran, and ran even more. Her wounds were opened each time she crashed into the cobblestone streets, the impact cracking the dried blood for it to be only washed away and replaced with another layer. Her body cried out with each footstep, ordering her to stop and treat herself. Her heart ached with betrayal, begging her to confront Auron and have him speak honestly. She denied both as she urged herself on, dodging stragglers on their way to the warmth and comfort of their homes. Rain and smeared blood reduced her vision to almost nothing, leaving her vulnerable and unable to see the way ahead. The downpour struck her relentlessly, making her a sight to behold for the remaining individuals still lurking about the city streets: a girl in only her brassiere and underwear, coated in her own blood and looking terrified, out of her wits. She never saw the nameless man in front of her and careened into him head-on, eliciting a startled shout from them both. Arms grabbed her roughly by her own and threw her carelessly to the side, and for the second time that night Tidus found herself in the fetal position, curling in on herself in vain attempts to block the outside world out.

She laid in the street like that, her legs submerged halfway in a puddle collecting rainwater and trash. The acrid stench of one of many sewage drain pipes clawed at her nose, her lips pulling into a grimace of bitter acceptance of the night's events. Time passed uncounted for the blonde girl, the pattering of rain against stone and her labored breathing the only sounds in the night. Pain lanced through her chest in time with her breath. She couldn't comprehend why everything hurt so much. The ground was cold against her bare skin, unforgiving as she shakily forced herself to her knees. She toppled to the left but caught herself awkwardly on her elbow, trapping it underneath herself. She struggled to lift herself out of the puddle, but the effort was too great at the moment and she collapsed onto her arm. A groan left her at the added weight and she bit hard on her bottom lip to muffle her frustrated scream. Her fist smacked against the stone with force, a jolt of pain dancing up through her taut muscles as her skin split from the contact. Blood fell anew from her fresh wound, trickling into the dirty water around her legs. It was already brown from dirt and debris, and the added red turned it nearly black. She shivered where she lay, cursing her being, Auron, the storm, everything. The physical _pull_ at her heart made her body shake as it was wracked with coughs, phlegm and blood mixing in the dirt beside her mouth.

_This feeling I've been here before_  
 _This feeling, I can't take it anymore_  
 _I turn the key, I lock the door_  
 _I see you standing there_  
 _Now I'm sure_

Doing nothing wouldn't solve anything. She had to force herself back into full consciousness, hands scrabbling at the cobblestone beneath her in a search for something to grip. It took too long and too much pain than she liked to move up on her knees once more, but she clung to the shreds of willpower she still had locked away. Unsteadily she rose to her feet and pressed herself into the wind, first taking slow steps before regaining her confidence and breaking into an odd, limping trot. She passed through the side roads and used alleys to hide herself from passerby. Her mind was empty but her feet were on autopilot, taking her through the places she knew so well. Her Zanarkand, her heart, her _Auron._

She had lived with Auron for years, long enough to grow attached to him and bond together. Sometime after her initial puberty phase, the girl realized her feelings for the man weren't familial and acted upon it, foolish as it may have been. A sloppy smooch that reeked of liquor and brought a grimace to his face, her arms looped languidly around his neck. She had admitted everything to him, and he to her, but the way he'd put things made it sound unrequited. She backed off for three years until her seventeenth birthday came and went, then confronted him again with demands of acceptance. He had agreed, and the two were comfortable partners in mind and body. Some of the things she did would aggravate him and they would argue, but it never grew as violent as it had been earlier. She had seen her guardian angry at her many times before, and in each he did not once strike her. Hell, he would rarely raise his voice above his usual growl; she was the one who shouted and threw things, ranting and raving about anything she could think of. He chose his words with careful integrity, any spoken word one of truth that opened the blitzer's eyes to her wrongdoing. He was neutral and level-headed, nothing at all like the man she had gone home to.

_I'm reaching out to you_  
 _I'm reaching out to you, to see your smile again_  
 _On and on and on again_  
 _Trying hard to find the words to say_  
 _I'm reaching out_

The wind was a friend at her back, pushing her forward and out of balance. Her arms wheeled and her attention snapped back to the present. The sea was spread out before her, stretching endlessly into the clouds along the horizon. A curtain of heavy rain connected ocean to sky, uninterrupted by the frequent rumbles of thunder and streaks of lightning. Churning waves crashed against the metal beams supporting Zanarkand, lapping hungrily at the docks and raising hell on the water. Other houseboats and fishing ships alike were tossed about like toys, threatening to capsize were it not for the thick metal links keeping them secured to the city. The roaring in her ears steadily grew louder, the rain dripping down her face as she looked heavenward. Resolve filled every inch of her being, selfish or no. She subconsciously blamed her emotional tide on the drinks she had earlier, but the thought left her mind as she stepped onto the pier.

The wood creaked and moaned beneath her, rocking slightly as the tempest buffeted it incessantly. Her underclothing was torn and dirtied, stuck to her abused flesh and clotted with blood. It left her tanned skin exposed to the elements, her body bare for anyone to see. Dirty, bloodied water ran over her swollen eye, slipping off to gather in a thin, diluted trail behind her heels. While her mind fluttered, her heart was firm and her feet unwavering. She approached the edge slowly, her good eye concentrated on the heaving waters feet below. The mere sight of it warmed her, bringing the smallest of smiles to her split lips. She was born here, had loved and learned and lost here. Zanarkand was her world, her anchor, her _everything._ She had seen and come to understand some of the many secrets of her city, had thrived in this place she felt so strongly for. But even so, she felt that she had seen enough for one life.

Her toes curled against the rough planks, digging into the wood with anticipation. Despite the way her body hurt, the way her heart twinged with grief, she would not allow herself tears. In the long decade post her parents' deaths she had grown, she had hardened herself and faced life with unquenchable determination. She refused to cry, no matter the fights she got into or the tournaments she was injured in. No matter the stress and frustration of news reporters and fans; no matter the false words and accusations the lesser people insinuated with her. She fought back and played to win, chancing no losses and tackling obstacles with unbridled enthusiasm. In her seventeen years and eight months she had taught herself through trial and error the ways to survive in a harsh world, and she had the proof to show for it. Selfishly or selflessly, she would act as she saw fit. She had no lasting regrets in this life, no qualms or loose ends left untied. There was nothing to hold her back.

So she leaped.

_I'm reaching out to you!_

The water was cold, chilling her to the bone instantly. She pierced the surface, thrown by both gravity and the raging storm further into the depths. Bubbles drifted out from her mouth as it opened in a silent cry. The cold was a bitter shock to her bruised and bloodied self, but it wrapped her in a cocoon of solitude, welcoming her like an old friend. The air she left in her wake floated far above, popping on the waterline when they reached pure oxygen. The ocean was a rich azure even so late into nighttime, concealing the underwater world in the coral reefs to the side and below. Fatigue overtook the battered girl and her eye slid closed, her muscles relaxing pleasantly. A warm feeling was spread through her, starting in her chest and working its way to her finger and toes; it numbed her wounds and glazed over her mind, delivering Tidus gently into Death's embrace.

The waters she loved so dearly claimed her for their own.


End file.
